Kirstin Heidler

NVC Facilitator and Coach


Main focus: Building a Culture of Peace

Twitter handle: @tinir_ks

Website/blog: https://kirstinheidler.co.uk/

Languages: English, German

City: Llandeilo

Country: United Kingdom

Topics: activism, coderdojo, nonviolence

Services: Talk, Moderation, Workshop management, Consulting, Coaching, Interview

  Willing to travel for an event.

  Willing to talk for nonprofit.

Personal note:

I believe in order to make anything we do in the direction of change sustainable (whether it is action to stop wrongs or constructive action to build the future we want to see), we need a supportive culture. The culture we are currently living in is supporting the destruction and depletion of our planet. It also supports violent ways of relating with ourselves and each other, perpetuating pain and suffering. Therefore, we need cultural change and that is what I am working towards.

Nonviolent Communication is a spiritual practice, as meditation can be called a spiritual practice. It’s about observing ourselves, other human beings, our relationships with them and communication with ourselves and them.
NVC puts connection first. This allows people to understand each other at the heart level, making the flow of gifts, of giving and receiving, natural.
With this NVC has a radical potential to bring about change, as it questions currently dominant cultural norms.

Bio:

I have been studying and teaching about NVC since 2014, just before my daughter was born. Now, I’m living in a yurt in rural Wales together with my partner Nicco and our two children. In 2020 we moved here from Germany.

I have a Master of Science in IT-Systems Engineering, which means I have learned how to develop software. As I was doing that, I discovered for myself the vanity of writing software, because software does not touch on the deep emotional and social problems we struggle with. At best it utilizes human psychology to capitalize on us, or streamlines buerocratic processes. And because I am a radical, I have turned my back on software development and have turned to NVC and understanding human beings in a holistic way.

My eduction in software development has trained me for designing systems, clear communication as well as quick iterations and trying things out.

In some ways I have been lucky, because I started my journey of integration and healing when I was about 15 years old. A man wiser than me, was able to meet me and hold up a mirror for me to see. He told me that if I would continue on the path I was on (stark rationality, shut-down of feelings and deemphasis of relationships) I would not be happy. At first I was angry at him, but the truth shone through for me and I conceded he was right. I set out on my journey to reclaim my emotions and rediscover myself. When I came in contact with NVC in 2014 it felt like coming home and finally finding oxygen.

Since then I have learned a lot. Most notably about shame and vulnerability. I have been particularly interested in interpersonal neurobiology (attachment theory, polyvagal theory…) as a result I have reclaimed a portion of my authenticity. Social justice is a topic that has always been dear to me and equality of worth is one of my core values. My approach in meeting the deep need of justice - which everyone carries - has been my engagement with Restorative Circles, the work of Dominic Barter and my engagement with Nonviolent Global Liberation, the work of Miki Kashtan. I’m passionate about finding different ways of engaging which allow us to be together more and more of the time in a loving and collaborative way.

Since 2020 I’m living in rural Wales together with my family. I have two wonderful children who are 7 and 4 years old and I have my amazing partner Nicco, with whom I have been for over 10 years now. We live off-grid in a yurt and enjoy a very simple lifestyle, which has taught me a lot.

Examples of previous talks / appearances:

CoderDojos in Deutschland, Oktober 2017

Ein Workshop zu CoderDojos in Deutschland, den ich gemeinsam mit meinem Partner Nicco Kunzmann gestaltet habe.
In der Übersicht ist er nach der Mittagspause als Workshop 3 zu finden.

CoderDojos sind eine weiltweite Initiative, die vor allem Kindern die Möglichkeit geben möchte sich mit den Themen Programmierung und Technik auseinanderzusetzen. Wir haben 2014 das CoderDojo Potsdam gegründet. In Berlin haben wir bei der Gründung einiger CoderDojos mitgeholfen. Gemeinsam haben wir einen Verein gegründet, der die bestehenden CoderDojos sowie Neugründungen unterstützen möchte.

Gemeinsam mit den Teilnehmenden haben wir uns CoderDojos weltweit und in Deutschland angesehen. In Deutschland gibt es im internationalen Vergleich nur wenige CoderDojos.
Anschließend haben wir gemeinsam getestet, wie ein CoderDojo sich anfühlt und haben dafür die Materialien in 2er-Teams ausprobiert.

This talk is in: English